Light streams through the window. In that ray of light, the dust in the air, ordinarily invisible, dances. There is a dance going on around us constantly—a dance of energy. The leaves on the trees dance in the wind. Our thoughts dance in our mind.
Imagine for a moment that nothing in this world is solid. It is all a big field of dancing golden particles of light, like the dust in the sunlight. You are surrounded by energy in motion even as you think you walk on solid ground.
We’re busier than ever with longer workdays, less leisure time, shorter lunch hours, longer commutes, and more demands than ever before. We may even be in a job that doesn’t fulfill us, yet we spend most of our time there. When the day ends, we have almost no energy left to do what we enjoy. We live in a society that gives us ongoing mixed messages: one message has us aggressively achieving success, another collapsing in front of a TV or computer screen for “relaxation,” and another working out to achieve a perfect body.
When Rachel lost more than 150 pounds on her diet, she thought her husband would be ecstatic. At 46, she felt better physically, gained confidence, and enjoyed her slimmer size-12 figure. Imagine her surprise and dismay when her husband rewarded her progress at Christmas with a four-pound box of chocolates and a size 4X blouse. She divorced him.
Humans are creatures of habit, and one of our most enduring habits is the way in which we move our bodies throughout the day. Generally, we move without even thinking about it. This can be a good thing, in that we don’t have to concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other. But moving mindlessly, without conscious body awareness, also allows us to perpetuate dysfunctional movement patterns that can negatively influence our health and well-being.
All life is movement. We experience movement in our lives in three ways: as expansion, contraction, and integration.
Expansion in our lives expresses itself as moving to a new city, starting a new job, or meeting new people. We are opening ourselves to change, to something new. We are risking getting out of our comfort zone.
Contraction is experienced in how we feel after a busy week, after reading a good book, writing a report, or completing a course or training. Contraction comes from having gone through an expansion and completing that cycle.
If you’re like most people, you are looking for ways to bring more balance into your life. When we think about creating a balanced life, we might start by cutting down on work, enjoying more pleasurable activities, and spending quality time with family and friends. These are all wonderful things, but they may be ignoring the obvious if your body is struggling to find its own balance, too.
Sometimes the simplest things are the most complicated. Like trying to make sense of the “like begets like” philosophy behind homeopathy, or knowing that you really need to do better about relaxing and de-stressing at day’s end.
When it comes to simple, the concept of being comfortable is right up there, or so we would assume. But noting statistics on the numbers of stress-related illnesses, work-related injuries, and growing use of pain medications, being comfortable is obviously a lot more difficult than we might think.
Soothing touch, whether it be applied to a ruffled cat, a crying infant, or a frightened child, has a universally recognized power to ameliorate the signs of distress. How can it be that we overlook its usefulness on the jangled adult as well? What is it that leads us to assume that the stressed child merely needs “comforting,” while the stressed adult needs “medicine”?
— from Job’s Body: A Handbook for Bodywork by Deane Juhan
Since 1973, John Gottman, Ph.D., has studied what he calls the “masters and disasters” of marriage. Through working with thousands of couples, Gottman has learned what makes marriages fail, what makes them succeed, and what can make them a source of great meaning. By examining partners’ heart rates, facial expressions, and how they talk about their relationship to each other and to other people, he is able to predict which couples will make it and which will not.
Below are some of Gottman’s top suggestions for how to keep your relationship strong.
"I want to change the world."
These are big words. And though sometimes used precipitously, you know when you're in the presence of someone who embodies the commitment of his passion.
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